


New beginnings

by SpicyBiscuit



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Groundhog Day - Minchin/Rubin
Genre: Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, Mending realtionships, Rich and Fred are brothers, Trans Rich Goranski, after the fire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-06 14:08:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16389164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpicyBiscuit/pseuds/SpicyBiscuit
Summary: A short story about Rich and his brother trying to mend their relationship after the fire.





	New beginnings

Rich's body aches all over from the burns scarring his skin, and the tight plaster cast gripping his body. He has an itch on his leg that he can't get to, a stabbing headache between his eyes, and his neck is sore from the position the nurse put him in earlier that morning. It's laying down but slightly sat up so it's bending his neck at a weird angle.

He's been in the hospital for a while now; probably a week or two, but Rich hadn't kept track of time. No one has visited him in that time or texted to ask if he was okay. No, they were all busy making rumours on why he'd set the fire and pretending to care then actually see if he was okay.

A few days after the whole incident, Jeremy was taken to the hospital in the same ward as him. And that's when Micheal came to visit. Well, visit Jeremy...but he did talk to Rich and they seem to get along. But deep down Rich knows he's not here for him. He's here for Jeremy. The one Rich had told about the SQUIP. The one that abandoned Micheal because of him. It's his fault this all happened. Micheal's sweet and kind. He didn't deserve any of what Rich caused. Or to be bullied. It just adds to his guilt more and more, like a balloon being blown up continuously until it's about to pop.

Rich sighs trying to shift into a more comfortable position. The ward is quiet except for the gentle breathing to his left from Jeremy as he sleeps. It's late at night and Rich is exhausted, but he can't sleep. Everytime he shuts his eyes he sees the fire again, feels the gasoline against his skin and in his hair, hears his squip trying to plead with him to reconsider, imitating his brother, the one person he was ever close to.

He missed Fred more than anyone.

His squip had ruined the one strong relationship he had, and pushed away the person he knew he could trust with anything. Fred was always there for him despite living 5 and a half hours away. His squip had taken his form, then he decided to push the actual Fred away before abusing Rich and ruining the close bond between them. He visited the family and confronted his little brother after months of being ignored, but Rich freaked out and they haven't talked in over a year.

That grey oblong pill cost him everything he loved and what for? Popularity? Girls? Transitioning and passing?

Was it even worth it?

He shakes his head of the thoughts and memories, glad he's free of the squip. Things will be harder from now on, of course they will, but he'd definitely die if it was still suck in his head.

Then he hears the door open, so he quickly turns his head away and pretends to be asleep so he didn't have to talk to them. He hears the gentle sound of footsteps and then the sound of the chair scraping against the floor. He can tell whoever it is is trying hard to be quiet.

It's silent for a moment before they sniff as if they'd been crying. "Richie...?"

Rich's heart almost leaps out his chest when he hears his brothers pained voice. He sounds so worried and tired, and on the verge of tears.

"I'm so sorry...I'm so so sorry. I knew you were hurting years ago when we were still close. I-I was always worried that you'd...you'd try to...but I figured you'd tell me if you wanted to. I never should've gave up after we fought that day. I knew something was going on with you but I didn't try and reach out. I'm so sorry. Please be okay. I can't loose you Richie"

Fred cries softly, taking his brothers hand making sure to be gentle. Rich's heart aches feeling guilty, but he stays quiet.

"I saw on the news about the fire, and I couldn't believe it. But I was horrified when they said it was thought to be an attempted suicide. I tried to get here sooner, I swear, but I was stuck in traffic" He sighs, "I know it's late...I got here so late. I'll come back in the morning..."

"Fred..." Rich opens his eyes and looks at his brother. He feels even worse when he sees how much if a mess his brother looks. Dark circles under his tired and worried eyes, tears staining his cheeks, his fringe messy underneath that stupid American flag beanie, glasses slightly crooked on his face.

Though, his expression brightens up when he sees Rich and he quickly pulls him into a hug. "I missed you much!"

Rich puts his head against his brothers shoulder trying not to cry, "I missed you too Fred. I'm so sorry for everything, things have been shit since we stopped talking"

"I'm sorry-"

"Fred don't be sorry...It's not your fualt it's mine. I shouldn't have pushed you away like that"

"What happened?"

"You wouldn't believe me..." Rich looks away

"Richie, I'll listen to what you say. You know I will. I trust you Okay? Tell me the truth"

Rich bites his lip nervously, glancing over at Jeremy, and ignoring the guilt starting to rise back up in his stomach, he sighs and nods. "Okay...but I promise I'm telling you the truth. It sounds like I'm making it up but I'm not, okay?"

His brother nods and waits.

Rich sighs "Okay...so this guy at my school offered me a chance to be popular and likeable, and then told me about a pill that had a computer in it. I could buy it and it would make me popular, attractive, masculine. It worked though! I mean look at me. I'm not a girly, weird kid anymore Fred!" He smiles sadly "But it looked like you and decided you were an obstacle. So it made me ignore you, and it hurt me. So when you came down to talk to me...I freaked out because I thought you were my..."

"Squip?" Fred finishes his sentence quiet.

"You know what Squip's are?" Rich asks surprised

He nods sighing and looks down, "Debbie's friend has a daughter who took one...shes now in a psych ward. She completely lost it and tried to hang herself. So that's why you...is it still there?"

"No...turns out mountain dew red turns it off"

"I wish I knew that..." He sighs, gently stroking Rich's hand. The burns in his hand aren't as bad as the ones on his arms or face but theyre still sore.

"Fred...?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't expect you to forgive me. I've done horrible things to everyone and I don't deserve to be forgiven just like that. I hurt you and people who didn't deserve it for my own selfish reasons. I just want you to know I'm sorry and I'm happy you're here. I can't say sorry enough, I-" Rich dissolves into tears. Guilt floods his emotions and he can't hold it back anymore.

Fred gently pulls him into another hug "I forgive you. I always will Richie, no matter what you do"

The room is silent except Rich's quiet sobs into the smooth material of Fred's coat.

"I promise"

 


End file.
